!!!SAFETY THIRD!!!'s topics - tribe.net

Antithetical to Safety 3rd

2008-05-16T01:24:49Z

You are the people for whom I wrote "Fire Safety for Jugglers & Spinners." Not that you need or want it, or that Tribe itself even existed when I started, but the attitude here toward experimentation and danger prompted me to try to separate the myth from the facts about diddling with fire.

I'm reasonably happy with the 4th edition (the early editions were only partially successful) and its now on my web site as a pdf file for downloading, gratis.

www.foreworks.com

It doesn't do what www.nafaa.org does, and it doesn't do it very well.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

notes to self, re: poi spinning

2008-05-15T16:58:40Z

Dear Sam
There are moves in poi spinning that you can get yourself into, but cannot get yourself out of. These moves generally end with a flaming poi head or other hot metal wrapped around your forearm. You cannot do these moves sober. You have practiced. No amount of inebriation can make you able to do them.
Love,
The irritated scabs on your right forearm.

---------------------------
Dear Forearm.
It was a hell of a lot of fun, and I almost got it last weekend. Let me wash down these ibuprofen with beer, and you'll feel a lot better.
~Sam

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 7 replies

Playa Roller Skiing

2008-05-06T01:20:37Z

Okay, last year I discovered this beautifully bad idea while wandering around on the playa, and I highly recommend it to anyone who doesn't mind a few scars. The whole thing started with a last-minute decision to bring one of my old pairs of roller blades to Burning Man on the off-chance that they might be somehow usable and, upon arriving, I was pleasantly surprised to find that they actually worked quite well. Occasionally I would have to step through some softer areas near the outhouses, but most of the time they were great, and I had a lot of fun rolling around Black Rock City and cruising the theme camps.

Then, I found some rope that I had brought. Add this rope to aforementioned roller blades, throw in the back hitch of a willing art car, have them hit the gas pedal, and you get what I fondly refer to as Playa Roller Skiing. I ate shit eventually, and when going particularly fast this can hurt a lot, but it was so fun that I intend to get a pair of Skikes (crazy off-road roller blades with inflatable tires...Google them!) to try this again at the next Burn. Just thought that I would let everyone know because, seriously now, it is a fucking blast. Try it!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 20 replies

an open lettre from your moderator

2008-05-01T04:47:21Z

WTF? summer has come and gone. halloween passed without incident. new people join up every day, so where is everyone? have you all gotten old and careful? have you stopped playing with knives, pouring gasoline on beehives and setting your houses on fire? i am so disappointed in all of you. unless you are not posting because you died in a horrific fireball, or blew you arms off playing tennis with hand grenades. i know the world isn't any safer, liquor sales haven't been in a slump, so what gives?

*yawn*

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 14 replies

flaming pumpkins

2008-04-01T00:33:36Z

It's almost Halloween time, kids! Here's a way to impress the youngsters, AND burn your neighborhood down:

Step 1: drink can of beer.
Step 2: rip the aluminum can in half, preferably using just your hands. A little blood to start your day never hurts.
Step 3: pour some white gas (Coleman fuel) into the bottom half of the can, maybe 1 inch or so
Step 4: put the can into the pumpkin
Step 5: light a match, and drop it into the can from about a foot up
Step 6 (optional): withdraw your hand quickly, before the "whooph!" of the fuel lighting

Using a lighter is considered "Safety seventh", and not recommended... unless you have welding gloves and a welding jacket on, in which case you should go for it.

I stuck a pic from when I did this a few years ago into the tribe pics. It was a lot of fun and it is a great way to attract the kids to your house.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

I shoulda called OSHA...Naaaah

2008-03-04T07:19:17Z

Lynn, your electro-shock tale led me to recall this. Probably one more reason I ended up the flake I am!

I was working a summer job for a fly-by-night communications company when I was 17, pulling new telephone cables throughout the interior of a light industrial complex. (The company is MD-based, but an international spice company, you probably have some of their spices in your kitchen.)

The job-site supervisor was 20, I think. The word "safety" was never mentioned if I recall correctly. The job entailed climbing around the entire building up in the rafters (called "monkeying"), pulling various sized telephony cables from a central location to every distribution box, then from those boxes to every work station. Buildings ranged from 2 to 4 stories in height, but were only 1 floor each. In other words, if you fell from the rafters, you were gonna fall the entire 2-4 stories.

The day in question I was working in a 2 story building, thank goodness. This was the company HQ, all of the managers and bosses had their offices there. All wires were run up in the rafters here, electrical as well as telephone cable.

There I was, monkeying along through the ceiling, pulled the cable to its destination and was working my way back, securing it at intervals with tie-wraps (big plastic zip ties). It was kind of dark but I didn't use my flashlite cuz it was hard to hold and monkey at the same time. Besides, there was lots of light leakage coming up from the fixtures below in the ceiling of the offices. By the way, the ceiling was a simple drop ceiling, held up by thin wires, it was not designed to hold much weight, even a 125 lb. skinny-ass teenager was way over what this thing could hold. I was hot, dirty, and very sweaty when I made my way past a place where a bunch of other wires came together. I had zero knowledge of what any other wires were at the time, but later found out that these were 220 volt electrical wires converging on a junction box.

I didn't grab the wires, just rubbed up against them in my sweaty t-shirt, WHOMP! Massive jolt of electricity, my whole body spasmed, I lost my perch on the metal rafters and fell...

Straight through the drop ceiling,
Into a conference room,
Landed on a big wood table,
Right in the middle of an Executive Meeting!

ZAAAAP, CRASH, TUMBLE, SMASH, THUD!

The executives screamed like little girls, especially the contingent of men from India (or wherever)!
There was dust, dirt, smashed ceiling tiles, my tools, and company papers EVERYWHERE!!!
Pandemonium ensued, suits yelling and hollering, bailing out of the room like it was on fire.
I just sorta lay there, stunned, for what seemed the longest time. At some point I got off the table and lay down on the carpet, which is where my boss and coworkers found me. Apparently the suits just abandoned me there, which didn't surprise me then or now.

I was bruised, battered, bloody, and burned, but somehow I didn't break anything. None of my injuries were serious, I didn't even go to the hospital. My boss slapped some bandaids on me and sent me home for the day. I was pretty whacked out, but they just let me get in my car and drive 20 miles home!

This happened on a Friday, I just rested up over the weekend and was back at work on Monday. At which point we had a lesson in recognizing and avoiding the electric wires, and were issued headlamp flashlights. That was the extent of our safety training!
Of course I was razzed mercilessly by the guys I worked with, even the spice co. employees would say "look out, Crash is in the building today!" Crash was the nicest nickname I got out of it.

Three years later I was attending a local university and was dating this girl. After a bit it was time to meet the parents, but she never mentioned where her dad worked. After intros, we kept looking at each other, trying to figure out where we recognized each other from. In the middle of dinner, her dad suddenly blurts out "You're the guy who fell through of the ceiling!"
He was one of the Execs who had been in the meeting that day! We all got a good laugh out of it, he got to hear my side of events, and told me of the various reactions from the bigwigs.

Safety Third, indeed...

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 3 replies

sparkler, aerosol can, and bb gun

2008-02-05T17:24:47Z

This took place many years ago when i was just a wee lad, okay maybe 13 or so. My parents, trusting souls that they are, gave me a pretty good bb gun (Crossman 760 pump) when I was 12, it was the best christmas present ever! (No I didn't shoot my eye out, but it wasn't for lack of stupidity.)
Time and place, 1975 or so, my back yard in suburban/rural Maryland. Summertime, parents at work, I was bored. It must have been July, we had cheap-ass sparklers left over from the 4th. I lit a few of them, boooring... I wanted something spectacular! I wandered the house, looking for something that might do the trick...
AHA! Dad's workshop... Aerosol cans of various things, spray paint, WD-40, what is that back in the corner? Hmm, an ancient can of bug killer, very full, never used, kinda rusty, WARNING, Extremely Flammable! We have a winner! To the backyard we go!!!
We have a built-in-place bench under a maple tree, branches are about 10 feet up, seems like a good place to create a fiery explosion! Just in case, I get out the garden hose and have it ready.

Set the can on the bench
Stick the sparkler into a crack in the wood, right in front of the can,
Pump bb gun 20 times and have it ready to fire!

Light the sparkler!
withdraw 25 feet!

FIRE AT THE CAN!!!

The bb pierces the can straight thru, releasing high pressure flammable stuff straight into the sparkler!
fire shoots out 10/15 feet on both sides of the can!

HOLEEE SHIT!!!! SPECTACULAR INDEED!!!

and then...
the can falls over...
The bench is engulfed in flames!
The tree branches are being massively torched!
Red-orange angry-looking flames and black greasy smoke seems to be EVERYWHERE!

I freeze in place for a time, probably 5 seconds but it seems like forever.
The massive flames only last a short time and soon die down.

I grab the hose and wade in, put it all out pretty quickly, but the aftermath... bench flame-blackened, a couple of large branches were also scorched, leaves half-burnt, and there was a huge patch of the lawn that was black and withered.
It was a damn good thing I did this in the morning sometime, I spent the rest of the day pruning the tree, scrubbing the bench, and doing something I can't recall to disguise the lawn damage.
Normally, I got caught for doing everything. This time my crime was not discovered by my folks, I got away scot-free!

Me and my hoodlum friends did this same thing a bunch more times, out in the woods where we wouldn't be discovered, and it was always a decent show, but never as spectacular as that first time!

PS The maple tree is still there 30+ years later!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 10 replies

SNOW BOMB!!!

2008-02-02T19:21:26Z

You with the mini bike, you know what to do.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

Safety Third Travel Destination: Dubai

2008-01-30T08:10:23Z

Man jailed in Dubai for Melatonin posession.
http://users.livejournal.com/_yungfuktoi_/306878.html

More:

Woman hospitalized in Dubai and given painkillers, arrested at airport for it
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/southern_counties/4200952.stm
Briton held in Dubai for having painkillers in her system
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/04/26/wilk26.xml

Canadian Anti-Drug Agent arrested for drugs
http://www.macleans.ca/article.jsp?content=n1219129A

15 year old tourist accused of homosexual acts after being gang raped
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/01/world/middleeast/01dubai.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

Cleaning/Moving Safety Third

2008-01-28T00:19:32Z

While no where near as glamorous as fire performing or fire tending safety third or construction/destruction safety third...I just sent a text to my partner and a couple close friends, all big advocates and fans of what we in Southern Ohio/Northern Kentucky call Safty Third (thanks to a misspelling at our first regional burn last year).

The text in its entirity:

"Moving furniture/cleaning+two piece altar loaded w/heavy, pointy, unstable objects x(ADD+impatient nature)=SAFTY THIRD!!! No injuries to report at this time"

Keep it unsafe out there!

By the way, any legitimately STRAPPED fire tenders, no matter where from, please contact me here on Tribe. If you don't know what strapped means, you aren't.

Fanx

-Pokes

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

RETURNED!

2008-01-12T05:38:21Z

I was trying to think of what our "most Safety Third" moment would have been.....nothing on this trip went as planned (and, yeah, we had PLENTY of fuel -- I took with me three fire artists) and everything turned out just right to prepare me for the year....but what was MOST.....

I did manage to catch myself on fire learning to work the fire staff. And we wound up being the floor show for New Years Eve at "the" Hotel California.

We did drive some crazy roads into great places and often managed some fairly scary feats of highway madness (those buses really do pass on turns down there.....erch!).

But hands down, our greatest Safety Third moment was to CONTINUE LOOKING for a place to camp after driving past an improvised landing strip that boasted a multi-million dollar KingAir cargo plane......past the tractor-trailer rig with the taped-off running lights.....right up to the deserted and chained hotel that had lights on in several rooms and a small fleet of triple-Evinrude sporting fishing boats drawn up on its beach. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it was a fucking DRUG LORD OPERATION!!! The sentries spoke no English but were easily bribable with cigarettes and we got the fuck out of there just before el jefe (speaking over the extremely sweet military-spec radio system) "sent the boys down" to deal with us. What was our first clue? Middle of fucking nowhere.....big airplanes.....armed guards.....I'm SURE there's a place to camp here somewhere.....hey, nice engines on those boats -- how come none of the other fishing villages have those?

Sheeesh. Safety Third, indeed.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

Hula hoop fun

2008-01-09T00:28:43Z

As practiced by the lovely and talented Lynnsane

1. Go to krazy NYE Party Nexxus Dressed all sexy.

2. Dance and hoop on 3rd floor firehouse roof.

3. Trip and fall down airshaft, through antique steel and glass skylight, land on dance floor!

4. Thank the Gods, only minor and very painful injuries...

Next time I'm tying a rope to ya, honey!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

Dearest ButterSwirl

2007-12-27T00:48:24Z

Please accept my sincerestest apologies for the lack of derring-do relayed by me personally. Let it hereby be known that we are about to depart this vale of tears laden to the gills with a funny-looking 14' box-over-cab V8 diesel truck, sportin' a new roof rack and some cool RV windows, gnarly new shit-kicking tires on the back dualies, a spare AND a spare spare, two heavy duty jacks, a passel of cookware and drygoods, three kayaks, two motorcycles, long and short surfboards, a collection of lawnchairs unrivaled this side of Yakima and a motley assortment of cookbooks.

From the frigid north to southern Baja, our adventure awaits us and I promise to bring home stories of fun as personally experienced by me, your humble narrator. Our destination lies, as often happens, at the whim of the road but will either find us on the Pacific Coast seeking the richest English buccaneer ever to go missing or simply holing up in a remote cove reachable only by running 40 miles up a narrow coastal road at low tide (the road, errr, "goes away" at high tide!). Some spearfishing is in order no matter what. In a hammerhead shark breeding ground.

Much love and adios!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

Track racing, anyone?

2007-12-21T17:44:35Z

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/12/20/2123609.htm

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

Safety 3rd examples

2007-12-21T04:56:10Z

1. Try new tricks
2. Don't give up easily
3. Practice for the inevitable (Safety 3rd)
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/skateboard-tube-rollaway-p1.php

1. Always have your camera with you.
2. Find a good vantage point.
3. Duck and cover (Saefty 3rd)
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2003/m_firework_factory-p1.php

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

the proper way to light a bottle rocket

2007-12-17T22:28:39Z

check this one out
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/1195/

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 2 replies

Here is to my first Safety Third Hero, Evil Knievel

2007-11-30T22:13:51Z

RIP

from SI.com just now...

CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) -- Evel Knievel, the hard-living motorcycle daredevil whose jumps over Greyhound buses, live sharks and Idaho's Snake River Canyon made him an international icon in the 1970s, died Friday. He was 69.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

You would have thought the truckers would have learned.

2007-11-29T20:59:22Z

Yesterday's fireball in Jefferson City, Missouri, proved one thing...that lightning can indeed strike twice. A semi loaded with ethanol took a curve too fast, went over the top of a road cut, and burned in the middle of Us highway 54, killing the driver and causing ethanol to leak from the trruck and ignite.

Highway 54 was closed last night at rush hour, and today, the Jefferson Street overpass was toasted. The concrete had been in such high heat, that all the limestone and cement had turned to lime. The same damn thing happened about 10 years ago at the next interchange north up the road, when a semi loaded with nail polish remover overturned.

I saw the smoke from both fires. The one yesterday was surreal. Missouri's capita; city had a dark black cloud over it yesterday afternoon, and it wasn't from a Repulbican gov ernor this time.

Picture of the truck burning has been posted.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 2 replies

Paul Addis for Mayor

2007-10-26T09:29:19Z

A Fiery Q&A With Paul Addis, the Prankster Accused of Burning the Man
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=3544780&page=1

Paul Addis for MAYOR of BRC
http://tribes.tribe.net/pauladdisformayor

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 22 replies

saftey third with fire works

2007-10-25T20:54:51Z

1. 4 packs of bottle rockets 12 in each still in wrapper
2. pole stuck in ground with about two bottle rockets from each pack holding them to it.
3. dousing them in gas and lighting them with a blow torch to ensure each wick is lit from a mild distance. SAFTEY!!!!

video later

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

blubber blasting

2007-10-04T02:22:32Z

http://www.youtube.com/v/8Vmnq5dBF7Y

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 7 replies

Lawn Darts

2007-09-26T17:35:55Z

Nuff said, right? Those things are amazing. No description needed... Amateurs need not apply... If you've got a 30 pack (because we all know what kind of beer comes in a 30 pack............. the best kind) and some lawn darts, let's rock.

Chase

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

Fun with heavy construction!

2007-09-16T05:14:11Z

Any heavy construction site is a GREAT place for blowin' shit up, fuckin' shit up, and heavy-duty hardcore assmunch to the metal mayhem. I decided to start this thread to share some of the more interesting things I've seen, heard about, and laughed my ass off about.

And when you've planned to be successful SANS mayhem, sometimes Mr. Murphy himself will make his presence known to you......

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

i smell a contest here

2007-09-02T13:55:03Z

http://www.warninglabelgenerator.com/
have fun!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

Flaming golf

2007-08-31T01:27:23Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4KCcE5bxfE

discuss...

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 7 replies

Pinched nipples...

2007-08-30T05:25:14Z

I was recently in drunken discussion involving the hazards of exposed nipples (male, female and to be determined)....

Group discussion subject:
Potential hazards involving exposed nipples...
- Pinch points, unguarded equipment, slip and fall accidents, etc....

Possible control measures
- Nipple shields...Steel toed nipples....nipple operating procedures....

Anecdotal stories involving nipple exposure and nipple accidents are also encouraged.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 12 replies

Funny

2007-08-26T16:57:26Z

I'm sorta new to this tribe thing. I'm in art tribes, sober without god... & when I saw this one, I HAD to join. Funny.
Don't know if this applies, but ~ 5 years ago I was in drag @ SF Gay Pride Parade. Very drunk, I walked to a dance bar, THE END UP, about 8 blocks. Almost there, a car stopped @ red light, window went down, & the guy said, "Hey dude, your nuts are out." Oops.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

it seemed like a good idea at the time.

2007-08-05T15:12:43Z

new member here. specifically interested in firecrackers. And I hope some of you know what Little Italy and Chinatown in Manhattan used to be like in pre-Giuliani days. Well, one year, I observed some youths on a warm January night during the Lunar new year using firecrackers and regular bottle rockets at a Chinatown intersection. All was going well. Some of them would find something to burn, set it on fire in the middle of the intersection, the others would throw in various devices, some of the more adventurous would jump over it all. Good clean fun. Until... one bottle rocket flew up about three or four stories, and exploded in an open window. It was unusually warm, and the apartment dweller probably wanted fresh air. Unfortunately for him, or her, the window was not shaded with blinds, but curtains. Which immediately caught the small sparks from the bottle rocket. Oops.
Bystanders immediately ran to restaurants to call 911, and in a staggering 10-15 minutes, the FDNY arrived. Other bystanders rang bells in the building and surrounding apartment houses to alert residents to the fire. It seemed all got out safely.
When the FDNY arrived, I was startled to see two things, by the way. First of all, they moved slowly and deliberately to set up engines and equipment. Not running around like you see on televison and cop shows. And most of them were smoking cigarettes during most of the time they were working. Except the men who had to enter the building with masks on.
NYPD also arrived, to interview folks who were eager to talk about who might have fired the bottle rocket.
That apartment seemed to be a total loss, and sometime during the firefighting process, the air conditioner in that apartment crashed down into the awning of the store underneath, causing a few extra thousand dollars of damage.

It was a hot time in Chinatown that night! And it all started so innocently.

I'm sure a few of you have pyrotechnics stories to share. Let's see some.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 10 replies

Eating paper without know whats on it!

2007-08-04T08:30:45Z

I would suggest not eating and paper with out knowing whats on it unless your up for a VERY wild ride and have about 18 hours to kill...
LoveryanO

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 6 replies

how to get rid of bees

2007-07-31T00:59:42Z

an oldie but goodie ....think we should send these guys an invite?

http://www.honda-tech.com/zerothread?id=1845064?

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 22 replies

Drunken Fire Breathing!

2007-07-11T13:12:19Z

I just couldn't get one of my favorite memories out of my head.

A few years ago, on Holloween, I was wearing a fuzzy hat with cat ears, and a good sized beard. I had been breathing fire for some time, and I forgot to mop the dripping fuel from my beard, well, the inevitable occured, I didn't aerosol perfect one time, and all the sudden, my whole head is on fire!

My hat was enflamed, my beard got a free trim, and I'll tell you, you haven't lived until you've had your head envealoped in a ball of fire for a sustained period of time. No damage, but a one cm round blister thanks to the beard taking all the heat, and I had to retire the hat, but wow, what a rush!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

crane rides.

2007-06-30T18:10:42Z

Enough said.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 3 replies

Drunkin Fire spinning!

2007-06-20T21:38:32Z

One of my favorit activitys in the true spirit of Safty Third!
Any one else into it?
LoveryanO

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 25 replies

Flame cannon

2007-06-20T17:45:01Z

I am looking to build a flame cannon that uses a coleman propane canister as fuel. but I don't know how. Anyone have any tips?

i NEED a flame cannon.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

Fire drills, of the Chinese variety

2007-06-12T14:41:54Z

One of the many helicopter transports from the burn last year was due to a fire drill gone all wrong. The victim in this story was my dear friend and partner in making some of the most safe/dangerous toys anyone could ever play on. Safety Fourth is our rule, but perhaps it should be moved up to third. He instigated a "chinese fire drill" on a friend's mutant vehicle and neglected to inform the driver before jumping from the lead vehicle to start the drill. Landing in front of the trailer, fully laden with lazy burners, he was run over-a logical consiquence but shocking to his leg none-the-less. With both bones crushed in his leg, I am confident that he learned that safety fourth, or third, is only an amusing joke on the stupidity of all alcohol brave humans. Perhaps the gom jibar, or other tests for humanity, should be instigated in our upbringing to remove those that claim to be impervious to pain from those that risk pain with full consciousness of it. Please understand the seriousness of risk, to be fun- it MUST be taken seriously. Thank you for your understanding.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 3 replies

Roman Candle Fights.

2007-06-05T21:46:55Z

so a mention of this elsewhere got me to upload an old video I had from when I lived in Barcelona.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1447144959571816839

Around the Solstice, the people of Barcelona seem to loose all touch with reason, and these "petardos" stands show up everywhere. These stands are little shacks made from corrugated tin and are FULL of big assed explosives. In my mind, the line between a firecracker and demolitions equipment is crossed when the fuze is longer than six inches, and all you needed to get some of those is to look over 18 and say "Quero los petardos grandes, Sis Plau". The city of 4 million people spends around 24 million euros on firecrackers for one night, then builds bonfires in city squares, torches a few buildings, and sets off a shit ton of fireworks and explosives all night while guzzling wine.

Each Barrio has a "Correfoc". Correfoc is the combination of "Correr" (To Run) and "Fuego". It entails these people dressed in leather demon outfits running through crouds of people, while the bystanders throw fireworks at them. It symbolizes runing the evil spirits out of town, or older people trying to kill off wayward hash smoking youths dumb enough to participate.

After this stunning display of safety, one of my friends and I decided to have a roman candle fight... I wasn't actually aiming at him until he sent one right infront of my face, so I sortof aimed in the direction of his head, and somehow nailed him right above the ear. Does this even classify as Safety Third?

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 12 replies

Have A Safe Holiday

2007-06-01T19:28:48Z

Does this phrase turn your stomach too? I thought so. Does it make you want to go out drunk driving? Maybe beat a few old ladies with sticks for laughs? Me too. And how exactly does one choose to have a SAFE holiday? OK, no hairdryers in the bathtub, I knew that much. No feeding lighted sparklers into the woodchipper. Drink with one hand at a time, please. No greasing the "Twister" sheet. And always, always, wear your continence pants.

But that chilling phrase, HAVE A SAFE HOLIDAY, makes me think of some Norman Rockwellian family sitting grimly around the holiday table in their germ suits gazing at a meal devoid of beef (mad cow disease), potatoes (lethal carbs), carrots (beta-carotene poisoning), fish (mercury! tapeworms!), tapwater (gaaaaah!), and Liquid Smoke (don't ask).

I think HAVE A SAFE HOLIDAY is as lethal to safety as those warning labels are on cigarettes and booze. They make me want to go all Braveheart on whoever thought I was dumb enough to think they were health food.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 2 replies

Oops, there goes her skull...Rodeo Safety

2007-06-01T02:22:46Z

http://www.azstarnet.com/sn/hourlyupdate/170447

She would have lived if only she'd signed up at age 8...

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

Habitual Safety Offender

2007-06-01T02:01:19Z

The boss from my third-to-last job recently locked his keys in his office. rather than call a locksmith, in a building full of phones and phone books, he got out the electric drill and buzzed the doorknob assembly apart, just like they do in cop movies from the Seventies. Now it is impossible to lock his door to protect the pointed instruments and private documents, or even to keep passersby from looking thru the gaping hole where the doorknob should be, to see who's getting what done to them inside. Yes, he's a doctor.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

Making coffee in the desert at dawn...

2007-05-29T22:29:03Z

This is using my antique and damaged old MSR XGK backpackers stove... as done by the lovely Jessicorn at Singularity

1. Make lot's of noise getting everything ready about a foot from their tent.

2. Open the gas valve and let it dump fuel all over the place.

3. Flick a match at it, (WOOF) pause a moment... another moment... then yell "Hey Bad-Dawg, Your stove is on fire!!!" Yeah... It supposed to be, that's how it heats things... "No, really! It's burning towards the bottle!!! Get out here quick!!!!! I don't want to burn your tent down!!!!"

4. Jump out of the tent butt-nekkid and see 2 foot flames 6 inches under the shade structure, pause... turn off the gas valve, watch the flames die down a bit and atomize...

5. Enjoy a fire roasted Espresso...

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

Forgot what day it was...

2007-05-21T19:20:15Z

I forgot what day it was and cut down a tree on Earth Day.

There were 4 of us, 3 power tools, a 21-ft folding ladder, a 30 foot tall tree, and gusting wind. I told the nosey neighbors we were practicing for the Redneck Olympics (where the winners famous last words are usually "Hey Y'all, watch this...").

The plan was simple, climb up tree, tie ropes to top, cut off top while pulling on ropes to direct its flight path back to earth. The plan also included some major assumtions like the tree doesn't hit the house, hit the fence, hit one of us, knock the ladder over on the way down, the guy on the ladder doesn't drop the power saw on the guy holding the ladder. We managed to keep the ladder in place by tying it to the tree. The first cut sent the top 10 feet of tree straight into the fish pond, luckily empty and mostly dry. Which was a shame because there's nothing like killing fish and destroying wetlands to really celebrate Earth Day.

The remaining 20 foot tree trunk started to fall towards the fence but got hung up on something and actually paused on the way down giving us enough time to scramble for new positions and throw our weight onto the ropes. We redirected its momentum into the fish pond as well.

If we had been safety nazis, we would have used proper gear, fall restrains, waited for better weather, ... Screw it! The drinks were getting warm and the tree had to come down. Safety Third!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

Confetti Cannon

2007-05-18T23:10:07Z

Since this is a "bad idea" forum.....I'm looking at purchasing a couple of confetti cannons (most likely compressed air or CO2 fired) capable of tossing confetti about 150 feet in the air and I'm immediately thinking that if one were to add gasoline to the mix and then intersect the confetti midair with, say, a Roman Candle or skyrocket..........hmmmmmmm........note that these ARE remotely-detonated so I don't have to be near the actual cannon.

1. Assume that the gas cuts down significantly on arc. In fact, try this experiment with water, first....
2. Gasoline pushed into a, say, 50-foot tall air-vapor mass....
3. Skyrocket from some distance! SAFETY!!!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 13 replies

Fire Video

2007-05-17T02:21:33Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnKQowVv6h0

1. "People WILL be out of the way when they see you're on fire."
2. "Put your hands on the ground. We don't want 'em on fire."
3. Safety Third!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

lookin 4 a pulse

2007-04-27T12:33:55Z

anybody out there?i wanna laugh .this tribe is comatose

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

Love & Safety

2007-04-15T16:07:19Z

I got this a few minutes ago....first of its kind and NOT a good sign for Tribe....

rossitoure (no connection)
New York City
Date: Wed, April 11, 2007 - 6:34 PM
Subject: hi

My name Miss ROSSI am 23yr old . I saw your profile today at (newyork.tribe.net) and it really acttract me alot i believe that you are the man i have been looking for to share my love; How is your health? i hope all is well with you. I believe that we can move from here ; but remember that distance;age and colour dose not matter what matters is the true love and understanding; in my next e-mail i shall include my pictuer; i been waithing for your reply mail me with this mail address ( tourerossi@yahoo.co.in) for further introduction.
Bye my love
ROSSI.
PLEASE SEND TO MY EMAIL ADDRESS (tourerossi@yahoo.co.in) I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON BYE.

1. Email from strange (and SURELY hot) woman.
2. Marriage! Wait....no....I already....am.....
3. Safety! It's OK....we're in LOVE! She LOVES me!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

camelot in Portland

2007-04-12T05:08:52Z

I went to Antioch college and we had this event there called Camelot where you set up an outdoor bike course and riders try to finish the course while other people threw shit at them in attempts to make them fall off. You can throw food scraps, mud, water balloons, whatever. You have your favorite rider and so you try to take the other riders down. I thought it would be fun to set up something like that here in Portland. Contact me if you are interested.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

throwing snowballs in car windows!

2007-04-11T04:43:01Z

Even though people can barely take a joke anymore -- who else has good snowball stories??

On our walk to the liquor store tuesday, we hit a number of vehicles with our smart snowballs. Finally we hurled one through a moving vehicles open car window. The dude chased after us, got out of his car, then shoveled snow at us with his bare hands, screaming " you think this is funny?" -- somehow without laughing at him outright, we eventually got away from the poor sport.

we proceeded to said liquor store -- all hell broke loose later in the day with mountains of snowball fighting in the front yard.

Yay! fun

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 9 replies

President Bush, Hydrogen-Electric Car

2007-04-11T01:09:57Z

Safety Third.

http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070407/AUTO01/704070338

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

beer, flaming swords...

2007-04-10T18:36:56Z

safety third.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEXgraV9VgU

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

sorry dude

2007-04-07T17:39:47Z

we used 2 tie strings acroos the street down the block where i grew up 2 startle drivers when it slid across ther windshield.relatively harmless way 2 get a chase. but 1 day this guy comes peddling quickly on his bicycle sitting up no-hands style eating an ice cream cone....aaaand hit the stringabout chest level. it was pretty hilarious almost like a cartoon the way he seemed 2 stop seated in space as th bicycle cotinued forward. very slow motion memory sitting there w' his ice cream cone in space for a long moment before he hit the ground hard. must've been quite shocking.
..the upshoot of the story is months later the same dude saw us throwing snowballs at cars from the same yard and chased us down... same as that other story followed my footprints in the snow 2 my house and we got in "trouble".
sorry bicycle guy.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

flaming gliders

2007-04-06T06:25:44Z

remember those balsa wood gliders models.when i wuz akid we would make whole fleets of them and dip parts in coleman fuel then climb on the tird story roofs across the street from each other on our prents houses.big old Wooden victrians in a residential area. then proceed to light them and have dog-fights across the street

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

What are we waiting for?

2007-03-29T01:06:07Z

http://gorillamask.net/humanslingshot.shtml

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

bladder and Kidney safety

2007-02-08T07:35:26Z

1) drink like a fish, for five days and get drunk when you go home to visit crazy parents in NYC.
2) don't drink any water.
3) feel all the stress your dysfunctional parents create. absorb the stress. drink more alcohol.
4)come back to portland and have sex for 5 hours with uber hot partner.
5)forget to pee, or drink water and jump into hot tub.

You will have a raging UTI in no time! have fun.

((OUCH))

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 24 replies

I found my whistle valve!!!!

2007-02-06T00:48:41Z

You know what that means?

That's right folks - it's time to start constructing my flame effect with only the most minimal understanding of the process! It's okay. I already burned off my eyebrows playing with my fire staff.

I guess the next step is to find an accumulator. Any suggestions other than emptying out a fire extinguisher? Wow! my friday night is suddenly looking up.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 6 replies

will it blend?

2007-01-28T06:29:14Z

in case you really HAVE to know... all your favorite household items up vs the blender!
www.willitblend.com

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

Move in with your girlfriends mom and marry her so she can her citizenship

2007-01-20T03:03:03Z

Move in with your (illegal) girlfriends mom and marry her (the daughter)so she can her citizenship. Rushing moving in together? dont worry... well figure out how to get along after the uncontrollable fighting starts ;)

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

500

2007-01-17T21:17:45Z

So I am creating a game and I wanted some pointers if at all possible. I is basically 500 but with fire. Heres the rough plan.

1.So the plan is take balls of chicken wire (8-10 of them about the size of a croquet ball) wrap them in kevlar (but how should it stay together?).Then dip them in white gas and hurl them with #2.

2. (have you ever played catipult the flaming toilet paper with a make shift teeter-totter) well thats the idea. But the question is how complex should the teeter-totter? should I even use a teeter-totter of should I use some kinda grounded sling-shot? Then with a bull horn someone shouts out how much sed flaming ball is worth with guide lines (dead, alive, ect)

3. how to catch the balls? I was thinking about using lacross nets but with chicken wire replacing fabrick. Maybe even tennis rackets with the same idea.

I know this is the safety third tribe but all players will be warring a helmet. With preferably non-flamable clothes. At any rate all suggestions welcomed.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

Ramen Holiday

2007-01-07T08:32:33Z

Sorry to be the one to break it to you folks but a very important person has left the world. he feed and sustained us through the hard years and yet we didn't even know his name or his story. he was Momofuku Ando, the inventor of instant noodles and he died in Japan, aged 96, of a heart attack.

Mr Ando was born in Taiwan in 1910 and moved to Japan in 1933, founding Nissin Food Products Co after WWII to provide cheap, quick food for the masses.
His most famous product, Cup Noodle, was released in 1971.
its taste and ease of preparation - adding hot water to dried noodles in a waterproof polystyrene container - have made it popular around the world.
Mr Ando said the inspiration for his product came when he saw people lining up to buy bowls of hot ramen noodle soup at a black market stall during the food shortages after World War II.
Noodles in space
He developed his first instant noodles, Chicken Ramen, in 1958.
The product came out as Japan recovered from the ravages of WWII and began a long period of economic expansion.
It was the masterstroke of providing a waterproof polystyrene container for the noodles that made his Cup Noodle an instant success in 1971.
Nissin has led the global instant noodle industry since then, selling 85.7 billion servings every year, according to Agence France Presse.
His firm also developed a version of Cup Noodle for Japanese astronauts to eat on the space shuttle Discovery in 2005.
In 1999, Mr Ando opened a museum in Osaka devoted to instant noodles.
He retired as Nissin's chairman in 2005.
Japanese newspapers and businesspeople have been paying tribute to Mr Ando.
"He was a self-made man who developed an epoch-making instant noodle product and spread it to all corners of the world," Akio Nomura, chairman of the Osaka Chamber of Commerce and Industry, told Kyodo news agency.
Mr Ando remained active until just days before his death, giving a New Year's speech to Nissin employees and having a lunch of Chicken Ramen with company executives. (clipped from BBC)

Here's to you Ramen man!!!!!!!!!!!
i am calling for a new holiday to celebrate, from this day forward january 6th will be know as Ramenmas. and we shall celebrate by digging in the back of the couch for spare change then going down to the supermarket and picking up some ramen and maybe some frozen peas and corn, and a can of tuna to throw in there and hopefully you have enough left over for the cheapest beer you can find.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

stupid and dangerious for life

2006-12-30T12:07:28Z

ya know i was just realizing that it's been quite a while since i've done anything particularly stupid or dangerious, and i'm not superstitious but i have this feeling that doing something really stupid and dangerious things once and a while helps deflect fate from dropping the serious hardcore misfortune on you're ass, ya know? ..........any suggestions?........maybe i can launch this way of life as a new age self heip type program.......er sumptin

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

more ladder st3...

2006-12-29T22:43:41Z

So I work at a ski resort that I'm not going to name here.

On sunday, we had a slow day, so my boss comes down from the lodge with a ladder and a razor blade and says "Sam, I want you to climb up this ladder and razor off those stickers", pointing to snowboarding decals on the TOP of a 35 foot pole. Note that there is a foot of snow around the base of the pole, as in where the ladder goes. He then tells me that I should probably get someone to hold the ladder.

Ladder on Snow
overextending from the top rung with a razorblade
Friend holding the ladder: Safety Third!!!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

Got Passport? Spin tools? Flexible? Lets go to the middle east in Jan!

2006-12-10T01:05:46Z

Hey any fire spinners!?!
All expense paid trip to middle east to an extreme festival.
Low pay, high adventure.
Totally serious.
all expenses paid. Flights visas meals .lodging, Bombs...
just kidding abou tthe bombs.
Creative Flame needs 2 more performers to do glow show stuff in UAE.
Must be able to leave in Jan.
Call 310 720 7201 ASAP.
Live the adventure.
Go to the middle east before its too late.
Bash

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 3 replies

Richard Simmons and Safety

2006-12-04T11:54:15Z

1. Get on national television, preferably wearing hot shorts
2. Promise the world of delicious steamed vegetables
3. Worry about the electrical situation third.

See for yourself:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3SCJLlSf21Y&mode=user&search=

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 6 replies

Fun With Ladders

2006-11-30T19:34:20Z

Tell me your favorite rule to break with ladders. My favorite is to stand on the top rung. My second favorite is tipping an extension ladder onto one leg so I can reach another few inches to one side. That's a HUGE time-saver.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 11 replies

Spamming Fuckers

2006-11-30T06:01:54Z

What's up with the posts that have nothing to do with safety and keeping it in its proper place? Knock it off.

I'm looking at you, Noah M, dr3w and Donnie R.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

Snowmen hunters

2006-11-28T22:35:54Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-d_DdQ8Sts&mode=related&search=

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 1 reply

chainsaw safety

2006-11-07T18:02:33Z

1 chainsaw revved up
2. flying beer can
3. OSHA approved flame sunglasses to keep the beer out of your eyes.

see picture in the gallery

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 7 replies

Sky Diving

2006-11-04T04:40:47Z

What is the Safest amount of alcohol for jumping out of a perfectly good airplane....

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

SLIP or BREAK?

2006-11-02T02:03:07Z

So, would you rather slip a disc in your back or break your elbow?

Oh look - I did both! Yeah for me! Safety Fifth.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 7 replies

Cooking Saftey!!!!!!!

2006-10-26T18:33:29Z

The other night I was having my vegatarian friend and a deer hunting buddy over for supper. So thinking of the best way to upset both was to cook Tofu deep fried in Bacon Grease. Man big mistake!...If you try it be prepared for flying grease when that Tofu hits the Bacon...I had to go with leather apron and swimming Goggles>>>>Live and Learn...............PEACE

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 11 replies

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

2006-10-25T22:27:42Z

1. Special order ferocious lion
2. Assemble your crew of midget warriors to fight the lion on what amounts to a dare
3. Use your strength in numbers to "outwit and outmuscle" the beast (safety third!!!)

http://www.fmft.net/archives/BBC_NEWS.htm

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

does anyone have a picture of the sticker?

2006-09-20T00:27:07Z

I heard that DPW was posting Safety Third stickers. Did anyone get a pic of one?

Safe-T
"First name Safe. Middle name Hyphen. Last name T."

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 6 replies

Pretty lights

2006-09-19T00:08:06Z

Has any one else noticed how pretty the Police lights are while driving on DOSES and Srooms????

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 11 replies

Best drink for electric hedge trimming??

2006-09-15T18:06:37Z

I am using a electric hedge trimmer for the first time and I am unsure which alcoholic drink is best???...I am leaning toward tequila but my wife insists Vodka...any help would be appreciated....

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 12 replies

This made my testicles draw up inside my body and my hands shake.

2006-08-23T20:33:10Z

I noted that googling "dry ice bomb" also brought up a tutorial. I will say that having seen up close the result of somebody blowing their hand to pieces, this was really not amusing. I am amazed I survived my own adolescence, come to think of it.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9015794510241027087&q=dry+ice

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

Naval Safety Center

2006-07-27T22:26:25Z

Here are a series of photos of people (no doubt from this tribe) doing incredibly dangerous things. Keep clicking on "Previous Photo" to see more examples:

http://safetycenter.navy.mil/photo/archive/archive_151-200/photo192.htm

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

Great video

2006-07-22T16:14:09Z

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4398987457467157728&q=stupid+kid

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

Forklift safety

2006-07-21T18:01:43Z

Check this out. It's in German, but that really doesn't matter ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPKAGYju-8E&search=german%20forklift

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 15 replies

not one single blown off hand???

2006-07-19T23:00:13Z

i am very disappointed in all of you.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 17 replies

EJC fire show

2006-07-17T06:07:16Z

priceless prop of safety third perfection:

fire plate spinning. in essence, fill hubcap with kerosene. ignite. place atop stick and spin, allowing tons of fuel to cascade down around you.

safety measures: helmet, gloves, mechanic's suit.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

Fireworks question...not related to missing eyebrows

2006-06-21T14:52:19Z

For those of you involved in pyrotechniques...what is the typical voltage of typical ignitors for your typical aerial firework? Typically. I know some of you have recently applied for your pyro license so I figured that you would know.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 7 replies

mexican fireworks

2006-06-14T20:59:55Z

step one: taping three mexican rockets together
Step two: longer wicks equal longer times before lighting right?
step three: safety third, having the biggest rocket go off in my hand as I try to light the smaller rockets.

oh the joy.

taz

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

Apartment fire

2006-06-14T17:16:57Z

1. Fire down the hall
2. Throw the baby out the window
3. Safety knowing you walked out and your baby is safe.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 4 replies

indoor show, too big of wicks

2006-06-14T06:26:49Z

i learned a valueable lesson. i need to use smaller wicks for an indoor show. i do a lot of buzzsaws. my bangs, eyelashes, and eyebrows were all singed. my lashes are distinctly shorter. my bangs are alomst real bangs now. heehee. four inch wicks in a bar with still air on a hot night= safety third. i'm glad i'm okay otherwise. twas a tad embarassing however.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

sweet demolition.

2006-05-26T07:06:10Z

are you bored? lonely? out of explosives? maybe your to busy trying to eek out a living in the modern economy?
well worry not because thanks to the miracle of the internet sweet destruction is just a click away
http://www.implosionworld.com/cinema.htm
ah....now don't you feel better

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 3 replies

alchol with out liquid?

2006-05-23T05:24:59Z

as if there weren't enough examples around of the fact that this is a truely a brave new world. now if you're to lazy to swallow you can still get drunk.......

http://www.awolmachine.com/page-2.htm

1. inhale the high proof alcohol of your choice with the help of the awol machine
2. smoke a roach
3. accidently inhale an ember and watch your flamming throat go sailing across the room...{SAFETY}, have you so called friends video tape the proceedings and sell the tape to the evening news so you can retire in comfort on the proceeds...

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 11 replies

santa's exodus

2006-05-14T23:03:14Z

i've had a flu for the last three days so you guys may just have to file this one under feverish thinking...

so, last night i'm watching a dvd of old cartoons and there's one where children from around the world stowaway on his sled and sneek back to the north pole to do something for santa. so they proceed to clean up his house while he's asleep.
now all of a sudden i'm like holy shit!!! the fucking ice cap is going to melt in like three years or something. you know it's one thing to have the army-whore-of-engineers fuck-up the levee desighn for a whole city, but imagine an entire nation built on a rapidly melting iceshelf. fuck this is serious!!!!!!!
no one knows the real deal with christmasland, they're a pretty seceritive people up there, but from the geopolitical standpoint this brings up some startling questions...
christmasland has no detectable gross national product, yet they have a massive industrial production base that annually exports a enormous amount of goods in one night ? they import nothing and and have no natural resources of any kind, except ice and yet they produces a vast amout of goods that they exchange on the international market for nothing. perhaps they have a technology that recieves the electrostatic emmissions of good will and uses it to convert ice into other forms of matter? or is this good will gesture a public relations ploy to coverup a massive underground blackmarket economy. does christmasland recieve any foreighn aid money? what do elves eat? is santa a socialist?...and on and on....you see the residents of christmas land have dwelt behind a wall of seceracy for so long we have no information from which to make any possible assessments of the impact of this looming humanitarian crisis ....one thing is for certian, that's that our representatives, after how badly they've fucked up recently, are to busy trying to think of new ways to look good in three minutes alotted between the commercials for perscription drugs and bigger s.u.v.'s to wast time on issues like humanitarian crises..

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

deep fryed bush, anyone?

2006-05-03T01:39:41Z

LOL!!- I just saw this clip -LOL!! colbert is just completely brilliant! and with all the swarmy faux wit and self-lampooning that bush has been doing lately to distract from serious issues it's great to see someone use real wit to just completely incinerate his one man dumb and dumber routine and then to just play it off as all in good fun. brilliant just completely brilliant.

colbert roasts bush video links
if you have a fast enough conection you have to watch these clips...colbert is my new hero for what he did here.

www.youtube.com/results

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 2 replies

metallic Chunky

2006-04-30T20:44:46Z

I microwaved a Chunky Bar once with the wrapper on. oopsy. The fireworks were very pretty.

when it was finished, there was no trace of the wrapper. I ate it anyway. it tasted very metallic so I deduced that

a) the foil had somehow been fused INTO the chocolate

b) next time I want melty chocolate, I should probably take off the shiny wrapper

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 3 replies

I actually BROKE a wonder bar

2006-04-13T17:57:37Z

Whilst dismantling my children's outgrown wooden monstrosity of a playset (to make room for a patio - complete with fireplace, cooking area, and small stage for firespinning and spontaneous acts of über-thespianism) I actually managed to break a rip bar/wonder bar that very clearly had "unbreakable" stamped in the steel. I shall be posting a pic of the chunks when I get the motivation to find the smaller piece.

1. Throw your weight on wonder bar wedged 'twixt 4x4 and 2x6 nailed together
2. Hear the "ping" of a three inch wide, quarter inch thick bar of tempered steel giving way instead of the four 16p galvanized box nails
3. Close eyes (safety)

My 11-year-old daughter pointed with pointy pointedness at my safety glasses laying unused on top of my toolbox. I truly believe I heard her say "dumbass" under her breath. Again.

Yes. I called to them to gloat...

I have a choice between returning the broken wonder bar for a new one (lifetime guarantees rock) or keeping the chunks. To the howls of dismay from the manufacturer's Helpline Employee of the Month, Shawna from Alabama, I am opting for the chunks. The call ended badly, though. She actually thinks she will lose her job because I refused to mail them the pieces.

We're doomed as a species - you all know that, right?

~Zed~

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 7 replies

!!!Style and Pleasure...

2006-04-11T12:18:18Z

... Safety's definitely third!!!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 15 replies

Hazardous Materials Inspection

2006-04-09T05:18:05Z

1. Inspecting the basement of a 150 year old building in New Orleans after Katrina almost floated it for Asbestos Containing Materials (WORK)

2. Realizing, that the load bearing beam that holds up the roof (and the rest of the house) is 70% broken (COMPREHENSION dawns)
2 1/2. Realizing, that the termites have eaten the sill plate and oh, by the way, everything else lumber in this basement
2 3/4. Emergency evacuating the 50 brasilian mold remediation workers working on the second and third floor ('Get The Fuck out of here NOW!') (Thank GOD it was not fifty 280 lbs Texans upstairs!!)

3. Wearing hard hat, steel toed boots,Tyvek, Safety Glasses AND Respiratory Protection!!! (now, that's Safety)

4. Calling it an early day at the "Boot" with lots of beer (Hurricane-related Relief)

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 12 replies

hunting and gathering, republican style!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-04T05:28:55Z

hunting and gathering, republican style!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don't know if anyone caught cheneys little speech before the wyoming legislature, this guy is so inhuman it seriously scares me. it was prodeeded by the legislature cheering and applauding the bastard that shoot that old guy like he scored the winning touchdown at the super bowl, W.T.F!!!!. bizarroville. i mean if cheney is so ok about shooting people he had lots of opportunities to do it in vietnam...then i heard a short interview with one of the legislators and he said "i don't know what all the fuss is about when ya go hunt'in your libel to get peppered now and then, why, most them people back east ain't never even seen a gun, much less gone hunt'in". whooa...now is it really hunting when you and your elite buddies ride around in a limo suv while throwing back martinis over to the spot where their going to release the caged quales for you to blast away at, with out a license and with out following proper safety protocols. i guess thats how rich republican neocons feed their families....you learn something new every day....
tc

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 17 replies

what left knee?

2006-03-02T03:41:49Z

1. eleven inches new powder
2. out of shape, distracted old man
3. ski patrol (safety)

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 5 replies

Straight from the headlines in COQUILLE, OR

2006-02-25T01:10:33Z

Logger killed while trying to keep warm by fire

COQUILLE, Ore. - A Riddle man was killed at a logging site in Coquille when his warming fire exploded.
Ston Yackamouih Junior was 37. He was apparently pouring gasoline on the fire.
Yackamouih's partner found him dead. The two had been working on equipment at a landing site near the logging operation.
Yackamouih, a mechanic with Huffman-Wright for ten years, leaves behind a wife and three children.
A service will be held Friday at Tri City Church of Christ. The family will transport the casket in the truck Yackamouih drove at Huffman-Wright

Safety Third!!

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 9 replies

Obvious

2006-02-24T05:04:26Z

I know this is an obvious concept, but has anyone actually suggested, death 4th?

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 8 replies

Safety Slogan

2006-02-20T22:05:39Z

A friend at Sturgis had a great t-shirt boldly emblazened with "FUCK SAFETY, FLOOR IT!". Now that's an attitude to live (or die) by.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

triple threat

2006-02-08T06:19:33Z

theo posed the question in the alcohol inhaler thread, but i'll pose it again...

if the alcohol inhaler and the marijuana vaporizer and a nitrous tube were streamlined into a single inhalant...

IS IT SAFE?

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 15 replies

Everything I Need To Know I Learned From My Patients.

2006-02-07T03:30:32Z

Doctors share their war stories:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=67019&page=1&pp=25

We can learn many fine things about safety third from these upstanding citizens.
Fer instance:
1. Get hammered.
2. Shove baby food jar up your rectum.
3. Safety: Attach nylon string to jar for easy removal.

The next post describes someone who forgot the string:
"I once saw an xray of the pelvis and there within was a smaller, dare I say more mouselike skeleton.
I don't know who had a worse day the man or the mouse. I would guess the mouse."

Hours of fun.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 6 replies

of skis and bikes

2006-02-06T18:17:07Z

1: forget to take the car to work on the day that you need to pick up 2 sets of cross country skis + poles + boots
2: decide that it'll be fine to pick them up on your bike, go to the store, strap them all to your bike using an old bike tube, some rubber bands, and a padlock.
3: safety: wear an ipod so that you aren't startled by the screams of the pedistrians that you clip with the poles.
4: let your innate sense of curiousity get the better of you, and decide to bike on this contraption, rather than just walking it home, and then decide that its okay to clip into your pedals, even though you aren't particularly good at steering it.

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 0 replies

rocket bike

2006-01-28T16:22:24Z

1) Need for speed
2) speed
3) coverage on CNN.com so people will help pay medical bills.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/01/24/rocket.bike/index.html

posted in !!!SAFETY THIRD!!! - 7 replies